Advice to Young Athletes
When I was in high school I had a million things going on. In the fall, my focus was cross-country. In the winter, I was prepping for track and soccer in the spring. I played the cello, I was the school’s news anchor, I was in a few plays and musicals, and I volunteered whenever possible. I was determined to be the best athlete, student, daughter, sister, and friend possible. My social life wasn’t as exciting as I wanted, but I put my head down and focused on sports and my studies.
Then, one day after a track meet my junior year, a boy asked me to prom and I felt all of my priorities start to shift. Instead of seeing my body as a strong, fast, incredible thing, I wanted to look as desirable as possible. I wanted collarbones that stuck out, thighs that didn’t touch, and a thin stomach. Even though I already had all of those things, I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. Instead of going to cross-country practice to clear my head and catch up with friends, I went to practice to lose what I ate for lunch.
As prom got closer, I started to eat less. My goal as a 100 pound, 5'10" girl was to lose 10 pounds. I can still remember my diet and exercise routine and it haunts me to this day. I would go to bed feeling accomplished if I was starving. One night I cried myself to sleep because I ate a banana, apple, and orange instead of just an apple.
My freshman year, I remember getting home from practice, eating toast, cookies, fruit, peanut butter- all the yummy, satisfying foods. I didn’t put a numerical value on foods, I simply ate what my body was craving. I missed that mindset so much, but I couldn’t escape the feeling and guilt I felt.
I could feel my body weakening and becoming lethargic during track workouts and soccer practice. All I cared about was how my prom date saw me, even if that meant feeling lightheaded and weak during practice.
What started out as a 2 month long diet turned into a lifestyle that slowly started to deteriorate my body. My senior year, my cross-country team won state and I got in the top 10 women, and I barely remember that day because my head was in such a fog. Frankly, I was so exhausted I don’t remember much of my senior year.
Fast forward to my sophomore year of college, and I realized my lifestyle was unsustainable and unrealistic, thanks to a few great friends and my coach. Now, as a 23-year old woman, I still see the side-effects from my anorexia. I have weak bones, iron deficiency, and other complicated, annoying health issues. Today, as I went for a short run, I started to get emotional thinking about all the harm I’ve put on my body. I thought about all the nights I wimped out on dinner with friends, the late night ice cream runs I didn’t go on, and yummy food I turned down because I wanted to keep my calorie intake under control. I want to shake my 16 year-old self out of my eating disorder. I was a beautiful, talented girl who didn’t have to change a single thing about myself for anyone.
My prom date probably didn’t care (or notice) about the 10 pounds I lost for prom.
If you are a young athlete, I promise your body is perfect just the way it is. The stretch marks, pimples, cellulite, and any other “impurities” you see is what gets you far. It carries you across the finish line and scores that game-winning goal. Your body is going to crave salad, ice cream, and everything in-between. Listen to what your body is telling you- your future self will thank you later. Some of the best memories are those from races, games, and practices with my friends. At the end of the day, my weight had nothing to do with my happiness. I hope it won’t consume you like it did with me.
